Nikah, mehndi, baraat, walima: a guide to every event and what to plan for each

A Muslim wedding is usually a series of events, each with its own mood and its own guest list. Some families hold every one of them over a single week. Others combine two, or leave one out. Every family does this a little differently, and the plan should follow your family’s way of doing things.

Here is what each event usually involves, and what to plan for it.

Engagement

Many weddings begin with an engagement, or mangni: rings, sweets and the two families formally coming together. Some families hold it a year or more before the wedding. Others hold it alongside the nikah.

What to plan:

• A home or a small venue, since the guest list is usually close family.
• A photographer for a few hours, for the ring exchange and family portraits.
• Gifts and trays for the other family, if that is part of your tradition.

Dholki

Dholkis are the evenings of music in the weeks before the wedding, usually at the bride’s home and often at the groom’s too. Someone plays the dholak, the aunties lead the wedding songs, and the cousins have taken over by the end of the night. Some families hold one. Others hold one every weekend in the run-up to the wedding.

What to plan:

• Floor seating with rugs, cushions and gaddas, and room for the dholak in the middle.
• Light decor: string lights, marigold garlands and a simple backdrop for photos.
• A word with the neighbours about parking and noise.
• Simple food and plenty of chai.
• Printed song sheets, so the younger cousins can join in.

Mehndi

The mehndi is the most colourful night of the week: the bride’s henna, dances prepared by friends and family, and a stage full of bright colour. Some families host one mehndi together. Others host one on each side.

What to plan:

• Bridal henna. Book your henna artist months ahead. Bridal henna is usually applied a day or two before the event where you want it to show at its best, since the colour deepens over the following day or two.
• Guest henna. Stations where guests can have a simple design while the night goes on.
• The stage. Low seating or a swing for the bride, florals, and a palette that works with the outfits.
• A dance floor. Leave room for performances. A custom floor wrap can tie the dance floor into the rest of the decor.
• Sound. Performances need a proper sound system and a running order shared with your DJ in advance.
• Privacy. If the mehndi is women-only, book women photographers and videographers.

See how we plan the mehndi and dholki.

Nikah

The nikah is the heart of the wedding. The ijab and qabul, the khutbah, the signing of the nikah contract and the dua take only a short time, and everything else in the week is built around them. It can take place at a masjid, at home, or at the venue before the baraat or walima. Some families hold the nikah weeks before the other events. Others hold it on the same day as the baraat.

What to plan:

• Your imam. Book early. Ask whether they are registered to perform marriages in Ontario, so your nikah can also be your legal marriage.
• The mahr. Agreed between the families, and written into the nikah contract along with whether it is given at the nikah or deferred.
• Witnesses and wali. Your imam will confirm who can serve.
• Paperwork. The nikah contract, plus an Ontario marriage licence if the nikah is also your legal marriage.
• Where the bride sits. Beside the groom, or with the women while the wali and witnesses go to her for her consent. Decide early, since it shapes the seating and the photography.
• Sound. A microphone for the imam, so every guest can hear.
• Something to share afterwards. Dates or mithai, ready to hand out once the nikah is done.

Many couples also ask guests to keep their phones away for those few minutes. There is more on planning the nikah, including how we help arrange your imam.

Baraat and reception

The baraat is the groom’s arrival. His family comes together, often with a dhol, and the bride’s family welcomes them in. Then the bride makes her entrance, the families sit down to dinner, and rasms like doodh pilai and joota chupai keep everyone laughing. The night ends with the rukhsati, when the bride leaves with her new family.

Some families host a reception in place of the baraat, or as a separate evening.

What to plan:

• The groom’s entrance. Timing agreed with the hall, the dhol, and who walks with him.
• Cars. Limousines or black SUVs for the groom’s arrival and the couple’s departure, plus transport for elders.
• The bride’s entrance. Music, lighting and who walks beside her.
• Time for photos. A set block for family portraits on stage, so dinner isn’t delayed.
• The rukhsati. It is often the most emotional moment of the week. Plan the route to the car, who will be there and how it will be filmed.

Walima

The walima is hosted by the groom’s family after the nikah, often a day or two after the baraat. It is usually calmer and more formal. The couple sit together and greet their guests, and both families can finally relax after a long week.

What to plan:

• Timing. Leave the bride time to rest after the baraat if you can.
• The stage. Seating for the couple to receive guests, and a clear path for families to come up for photos.
• The menu. The walima meal is a point of pride for many families, so book tastings early.
• The bride’s look. Often softer than at the baraat, so plan the outfit, hair and makeup together.
• Portraits. With the rush of the baraat behind you, the walima is a good time for unhurried photos of the two of you.

Our walima page has more on how we plan it.

Putting the week together

Once you know which events you’re hosting, plan them as one schedule rather than as separate parties.

• Leave a rest day between the biggest events if the calendar allows.
• Book the bridal henna, hair trials and fittings around the mehndi and baraat dates.
• Ask whether decor pieces can carry from one event to the next, especially if two events share a venue.
• If some events are segregated and others are mixed, say so on each invitation, so guests know what to expect.
• Keep one timeline for the whole week, held by one person.

Every family’s week looks a little different, from a small dholki at home to a walima for several hundred guests. See every event we plan, and how each one fits into the whole.